Do they call it fall because your sinuses try to fall out of your head? Or do they call it fall because your emotions plummet like a dropped brick? Do they call it fall because your happiness slumps to the floor like a shed coat?
Maybe it is the dreary weather. Maybe it’s the fact that I’ve been sick this week. Or maybe it’s just that ongoing battle for mental/emotional health…but today it hit me…that gloom. That feeling of pointlessness, that feeling of loneliness.
After a year of being here, the feeling is illogical. I have friends here. I have a life here. I have fun here. I have my husband and dog here! I have adventure and amazing experiences here. And yet today I felt the lack of something. And I craved…home.
But luckily, my mother knows me. When we left, she had everyone write letters at our going away party. She sealed them up, put them in a big envelope and had me save them for a rainy day. Two other times I have broken into those letters. On this rainy day, I tore through them like a kid left unchecked with their Halloween loot.
And they healed my soul.
Kristen saying, “and you have all of us at home with open arms whenever your amazing experience ends…” reminding me that they haven’t forgotten my friendship.
Gracie speaking teenage wisdom into my heart with, “and always know, you’re in Europe. You don’t need to be sad. People would die to be in your place, so make your time there eye opening and jaw dropping.” I can almost hear her saying “suck it up, buttercup!”
Amy and Terrell quoting “Bridesmaids,” – “Auf wiedersehen, Asshole!” Terrell demanding a full recount of my travels – charade style – upon my return. Amy claiming, “there will definitely be a gaping hole without you in Dallas,” again reminding me that I’ll still find friends when I return.
Riley warming my heart with, “I remember when I was assigned to write about my hero and I wrote about you.”
Jenna trying to convince me to move to Fort Worth – “Some say it’s the new Dallas,” but also reminding me that she is “counting down the days.”
And then of course there is Grant, who simply wrote Lance a letter solely focused on calling him something obscene…but it made me laugh.
They did the trick, mom, so Thank you. I can take a deep breath and feel lucky, blessed, and a little silly for ever feeling down in the first place.
And I have a few left over for another rainy day.